The Peace That Passes Understanding

I have read about and talked to moms that have memories of tearful goodbyes when seeing their child off to Kindergarten, often the first time they are separated for any significant length of time. I did not have that experience with my son since he attended childcare and school (up through the 8th grade) where I teach. When my son left for high school I had a taste of that feeling (minus the tears, since he was much older). However, that feeling came back to me today, somewhat magnified. My husband and I took our son to New Jersey today. This is the first leg of his journey to 9 weeks of Army bootcamp. His wife and baby girl came with us. I did not cry, because I didn't want to make it hard for my daughter-in-law, but I have already shed a few tears. Even now, as I write this, they are very close to the surface, threatening to spill out at a moment's notice, like a glass you have filled too full. He is almost 24 years old, so why would this affect me so? Actually, given the fact that many other mothers' sons (and daughters) have been going to Iraq and Afghanistan for quite some time now, it is not an unreasonable question to ask. I don't know for sure that my son will be going there any time soon, but it is a distinct possibility. Of course there are questions running through my mind, concerns for his safety and well-being, not just if he is sent in harm's way, but even while he is here, completing his training. I also have concerns about his separation from his wife and child...especially his child. She is so young, not yet 9 months old, and he will be gone so long. So much growth and development happens so quickly at her age, and he will miss so much of it. When my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter leave to live on base with him after training, I will be missing much of her growth, as well. Add to this mix the feelings of pride I have regarding the solid steps toward maturity and responsibility that my son has been making recently, and it is no wonder I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. All of this would be overwhelming, if it were not for the peace I have in Jesus Christ. The peace I find in His presence is beyond anything the world could offer. I do not put my trust in the world, or its governments. I do not trust in the Army's ability to prepare my son, or his ability to learn well the lessons they will teach. I put my trust in the One who is Lord over all. He is the only constant in the midst of so many variables. He alone knows what is best for my son and his family, and me, for that matter. He alone has the answers to all my questions. He alone knows how to sort my mixed feelings. He alone knows what to do with my tears...even the ones that have not yet fallen. He alone has the peace that passes understanding.